Adventure Onward: One Year

It's been one year. 365 days. One year since I had the surgery that changed my life. On September 21, 2012 I underwent RNY Gastric Bypass surgery. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Over the past year it's also been the biggest challenge of my life.

I had surgery because I needed the help. I couldn't lose the weight on my own with nutrition and exercise. I honestly DID NOT want surgery but I knew it was my only chance at being able to lose the weight that I needed to. I didn't have any health issues related to my weight but I knew that wouldn't last long. Even the day of my surgery, I didn't want it. One year later, I'm glad that I actually went through with it.

I've done well over the past year. I've lost 149 pounds since surgery as of the time I'm writing this. I went into surgery weighing 382 pounds. I now weigh less than I do when I went into High School. I wish I looked the same as I did in High School but mother nature is kinda in a screw you mood and let gavity take hold of pretty much everything.

I think the biggest thing I'm still learning is that I have an eating disorder. Having this surgery does not change that fact. I struggle every day with what to eat, how much to eat, and being diligent about taking my vitamins. I still have a long way to go obviously but I'm overall happy with where I'm going.

September 7, 2013

September 9, 2012

I've done a lot of other things in this past year. Not only did I lose a whole person with my weight loss. I lost 2 people. I lost a boyfriend as well as a whole person of weight (ba dum *tish). Yes, if you've read my previous posts, Ryan and I broke up after almost 6 years together. It was his decision although I knew it was coming. I've had my ups and downs since then. I've gone on dates and wish I hadn't gone on some of them, but it's been an interesting experience being single. I never knew how much my life revolved around one person and now I have to live my life for me.


I also did something I thought would never happen. I graduated with my Master's Degree in Education! It was an extremely tough two years. Lots of tears were shed and a lot of sleep was lost but I completed it. I learned not only a lot about our educational system and how broken it is but I learned a lot about myself and what I find important about Higher Education and how I can start to make a difference.

My Pretty Diploma

I've been told, not out right, but in a secondary way, that I've had everything handed to me because I've completed not only my B.A. but also now my M.Ed. and because I have a full-time job working in my field by the time that I'm 26. I never really respond to these things because I know everyone is different and everyone completes things in their own timeline but I do want it known that everything I have gained and accomplished is because of my willingness not to give up no matter what. Some people don't know this but I started graduate school on academic probation. I was admitted on a chance. I had to make sure the my GPA did not drop or I would be cut from the program. But I didn't let that stop me. No, I didn't have straight A's but I did my best and it shows not only in this nice looking piece of paper but also in my gained knowledge and the fact that I've had increased responsibilities in my job. I also have a family that supported me 100% in my goals and was there for me no matter what.

While it's only been one year, it feels like it's been more. I've accomplished so much in so little time I almost can't wrap my hear around it. But I know that the next year has even more in store for me and I cannot wait to see what it is.

That's about all I've got for this one.Thanks to everyone for your continued support through this entire journey.

Springing Into Action

Like the title? I though it was clever.

It's been awhile since I've written and I've just had this desire to write about what's been going on since December. So, here it goes.

Weightloss:

As of today, I've lost 113.2 pounds. It's been hard and crappy but I couldn't be prouder of myself. I've done from extremely obese to obese II according to the BMI chart. That stupid little chart will always tell me I'm overweight by the time I hit my goal but nothing feels better then being able to fit into whatever car/ride/tight space I want to. It also feel great to be the same weight I was in High School and KNOW that I'll weight less than even that soon. Watch out 10 year reunion! (In 2 years)

As for diet, I haven't been following the protocol like I'm supposed to and I think that's my biggest challenge. I'm making a re-dedication to following what I'm supposed to. I haven't had a problem with a lot of starches though which is why it's hard. Thick bread, french fries, mashed potatoes, and flour tortillas have given me problems so I stay away from those. But I need to cut back on making pasta just because I don't want to grill chicken for dinner even if I only make 2oz. of pasta. If I do end up still eating the things that haven't bothered me, I'm making a point of buying whole grain so it at least has a better nutritional value.

For my exercising, I fell out of it again. For some reason, my depression gets worse when I start to exercise on a regular basis. I need to call and make an appointment with my doctor to see if we need to adjust something.

 Personal Life:

I know this is the section everyone is excited about. 

It's been 4.5 months since Ryan and I broke up. Honestly, I'm still grieving this relationship. And why shouldn't I? It was a 6 year relationship! I don't know when I'll stop grieving but there shouldn't be a set point in time where I have to go "okay, I'm over it". Right now, I'm trying to do as much as possible to take care of myself not only physically but emotionally as well. That's really all I have to say about it.

Since the end of the year, I have been getting out more. I've been going to Disneyland as much as possible and hanging out with friends. It's been nice to actually live what I have left of my 20s. I've been going out on dates as well. I'm not looking for anything. I'm not emotionally ready to pour myself into another relationship; but who am I to say no to a free meal?

I've also been going back to church. I found a church that I love and I always feel better after I've gone. I feel better when my relationship with God is stronger and I feel that I can do more and that I don't have to worry as much when I just give everything to Him. It's really been a breath of fresh air after so long.

I'm also almost done with school! Over the next 12 weeks though I'll be working on my big paper so if I'm not around, that's why. I was able to walk with the rest of my cohort on April 18th. The best thing about that day was that my dad showed up. We all though that we wasn't going to be able to make but as I walked down those steps to where we had to sit, there he was waving at me. It was the greatest thing to have possibly happened.

So, I'm still here. I'm making positive changes and I'm looking forward to what's in store for me over the next few months. It's going to be one heck of a ride.

Kitchen Adventures- The Quest For Clean

Lately I've been in a home improvement mood. It could be because I'm now single and so I can't have a honey-do list anymore OR it could be because I'm realizing all the things I put on hold because I was too busy being gone every weekend. The jury is still out on this.

Whatever the reason, I have until January 2nd off and I decided to do some cleaning. My living room doesn't really have any problems other than needing a good coat of colored paint but I live in an apartment and I'd have to permission. It's just a big mess. Once I get a new TV though, I'll probably re-arrange some things.

The next rooms in my apartment are my kitchen and dining/office area. My kitchen is fairly organized. There are things I would like to change but I do not have the monetary means to do so yet. Have I mentioned I LOVE tax return season? Getting back on track, I decided to tackle my kitchen today.

If you know me well or have listen to me talk about my apartment, you know that I hate my electric stove/oven. The stove part is really okay but it's the oven I hate. This thing burns everything! I have to set the temperature down to 200 degree no matter what I'm cooking and it still get's too hot. Needless to say, I do not do a whole lot of baking. I do cook a lot though. This left my stove top really nasty.

First I unplugged the burners and put the drip pans in hot water is some cleanser.

I let those sit while I cleaned the rest of the stove. I still had to scrub them forever just to get them to look semi clean. I'm going to end up getting some actual over/stove top cleaner when I can so they look like new. Until then, they are at least grime free.

The next part was to clean under the stove top. I had to lift the stove top up and unbelievably, it stays up by itself! I did not know that. This is what it looked like before I scrubbed it.

Before Scrubbing

I used Dawn dish soap to scrub everything. I've found that Dawn actually does cut a lot of the grease on things. Again, I want to use some actual cleaner but that will probably have to be for Spring cleaning. This is what the stove looked like after scrubbing.

 

 

After Scrubbing

I'll spare you the details of cleaning the panel of my stove but all you have to do is take the knobs off, use some spray cleaning and wipe everything down. I then put everything back together. Here is the finished product.

It's not perfect but it looks A LOT better than it did before I started. I still have more to do in my kitchen and I need to move things out so I can sweep and mop the floors really well. Until next time!

-Jessica

All By Myself

It's been an interesting few days. In addition to trying to write a 20 page paper, Ryan and I ended our relationship. Don't worry, I'm fine. Our relationship hadn't been healthy for awhile. We still love each other and will probably be friends but our lives are heading in two different directions. I'm really just going to take this time to focus on finishing school and doing what I need to do to continue to lose this weight. I figure come swimsuit season, I'll be hot and sexy and all the guys will want me. ;)

In other news, I battled a great evil today. Ants. It's not the big ones that actually bite, but the little tiny annoying ones that you just find everywhere. I think I figured out where they came in but it had to be the hardest spot...the ceiling. Now, I'm tall but I'm not a giant. So I have to call a friend for a step ladder so I could actually get the little bastards. On the bright side, my kitchen is spotless. I am however, terrified that they will come back.

If you ever have to deal with ants, my number one suggestion is to spray the hell out of them! Then vacuum those suckers up. I probably should of done that instead of trying to find a step ladder, but my OCD made me want to wash the walls.

My next project is to clean my ceiling fan blades. They be nasty.

So yes, I'm going to be fine. If you would like to however take me out for iced tea, I won't object.

Adventure Onward! 2 Months

2 Months = 8 Weeks = 60 Days = 1,460 Hours = 87,658 Minuets

November 21st (tomorrow) marks my two month post-op date. To be honest, it really doesn't seem like it's been two months. With everything that has gone on, it feels more like 6 months but without the benefit of more food.

On the bright side, I've lost 44 pounds. Not as much as I thought I would have lost at this point but apparently my body is stubborn and wants to hold onto the fat. Silly body. Your resistance is futile.

This month will also bring my first major food holiday since my surgery. I feel prepared. I already know I won't have any starches so rolls, stuffing, and mashed potatoes are out. My mom said we're having turkey instead of ham so I will be drowning that bird in gravy because turkey also tastes dry to me. I will also be having green bean casserole (my favorite), olives, and sweet pickles. Overall, I think I'll be just fine. I have my measuring cups at the ready and there's always left overs. I do not know what I'm going to do about dessert. I've never been a big sweets person but I love Pumpkin pie. So maybe like 1/2 of a tiny piece?

In other news, Ryan and I will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary next month. We've been together longer than most of my friends who are married have been with their spouses. And that's including dating time. I think I've finally gotten to a point where I'm okay with not being married yet. I mean, we're both in school and I'm the only one with a full time job. The only one with any job really. There is no possible way that we would be able to manage a household on one income with both of us in school full time. I can barely manage my household.

Getting away from my point, 6 years!! We had some bumps at the beginning of the year but I think we've really grown this year. We've worked on a lot of things. Mostly things that I really had to work on myself but we are doing a lot better. Not perfect, but relationships never are. Needless to say I'm extremely happy and so in love.

Ryan has always been there for me. Not matter what has been going on, I can count on him when I need him. I mean, he drove from Riverside to Victorville when I had to put Elvis down. I mean, who else would do that?? He's also been my main support through this who recovery. During the week that we has here after my surgery, he slept on the couch so that I could be comfortable in the bed. He's also been extremely patient with my healing process and makes sure that I'm eating what I'm supposed to and that I get enough exercise in.

I just cannot even begin to imagine where I would be without him and I can't wait to see where the next year takes us.

Until next time...

Adventure Onward! Week 6

40 pounds! That's right, I've lost 40 pounds so far. Going into week 6 of this journey I'm feeling pretty well. I can eat actual food and for the first time in 2 months, my refrigerator has food in it.

I haven't been at this point for long though. For the past week and half I've been seriously sick. At first it was just dealing with regularity issues but then one of my lovely students decided to bring a flu bug into my office. As if I didn't have enough to deal with, I caught the stupid bug.

I was sooo sick. Everything the stomach flu is was amplified since my stomach is so tiny. I had 2 Urgent Care visits within one week for dehydration. I still have the bruises to prove it. The only thing I could keep down was decaffeinated Green Tea. No joke.

I also missed almost an entire week of work. Which with no sick or vacation time, means my paycheck is going to be very small. I'm thankful that I'm getting one but it's going to take some awesome budgeting on my part in order to stretch things to the next one.

But, I am better now and the sickness is behind me. Now I can get my focus back onto work, school, and my nutrition.

In other news, I went to the Apple Valley Sundevil Classic last night. If you don't know what that is, it's a big Marching Band Competition back up in the desert. I am such a band geek. A friend of mine from band came and we sat there and critiqued all of the bands. Amberly, David, and the bug showed up too. A great time was had by all. 

The exciting thing that happened though was I was able to talk with my old band director from high school as his band was competing there. So after talking to him, he's going to give me a call this week so that I come help out at the competitions his band is hosting over the next two weekends. Talk about excited!! I'm going to be able to sit up in the box with the judges and see all the shows. 10 bands the first weekend and up to 50 bands the second weekend for championships!!

I know this isn't much of an update but when you're sick for almost 2 weeks, there's not much to tell. Until next time...

Adeventure Onward! Week 3

It has bee three weeks since my surgery. Overall I'm doing really well. As of last Sunday (10/7), I've lost a total of 26 pounds. I won't know how much I've lost this week until tomorrow (Sunday). I've had to commit myself to only weighing once a week because it's so hard to either not see the scale more or for it to move up on a daily basis. So why torture myself?

Everyone keeps asking me what I can eat right now and how much. Up until I reach one month, everything I eat needs to be about the consistency of apple sauce or I have to chew it like 60 times before I swallow it. Here's the list of things added at the one week post-op:

Cheese- Any kind except cream cheese because of the fat content

Yogurt (plain or unflavored) I've cheated on this because mt Greek yogurt is vanilla flavored but I haven't had any problems.

Scrambled eggs only.

Baked or grilled fish- YUCK. This is something that I am NOT eating.

Canned tuna or salmon- Double YUCK.

Mashed potatoes- I love these!!

Cream of wheat- never been a big fan but I have Malt-o-Meal so that's helpful.

Vegetarian re-fried beans- also one of my favorites.

Apple sauce-sugar free of course.

I'm supposed to eat 3-4 times a day and include 50-60 grams of protein shakes in addition to my food. Only 2 ounces at a time unless I'm drinking my meal which is when I need to make sure I'm making it last about 45min.

I don't really have a feeling of being hungry unless I haven't eaten in awhile. I do get thirsty a lot. You will probably see me now with a water bottle attached to my hand. The only craving I have right now is vegetables. Mostly tomatoes and cucumbers.

I guess the most excited news of this week was the fact that I got to back to work. I was so ready by the end of week two to be out of my apartment and back in the office. Crazy right? I had a pretty relaxing week. After everyone told me how crazy it was while I was gone, I was expecting a huge pile of work waiting for me. Other than the almost 600 emails, it was pretty light. Advising however starts in 2 weeks so I'm getting ready for that and making sure that I have everything else done before the students start pouring in.

The other event was actually kinda scary. I woke up Thursday feeling terrible. It hurt to eat or drink anything. Even liquid was kind of hard. I stayed home from work knowing I wouldn't get paid since all my sick and vacation time is gone.

I had a school meeting at Redlands so I had to drag myself out of bed to go to that. Do you know how hard it is to sit in a meeting for over an hour feeling like you want to curl into a ball and die? PLUS having your classmates look at you like you're about to burst into tears right there? Well, I do.

After the meeting I called my doctor's office who then directed me to his nurse who could give me more information. I'm in tears on the phone because I don't know what's going on and my mom of course is freaking out telling me I need to go to the hospital because that's what they said right when I got out of the hospital. I would prefer to NOT sit in the emergency room for 3 hours for them to tell me nothing is wrong. (I'm pretty sure half of my cohort saw me crying on the way to my car that afternoon. Oh well.) Anyway, the nurse call me back, asks me a few questions, and says it's constipation. Really?! Something that simple. Believe me when I say that I felt like an idiot. Here I thought something went wrong and I screwed something up and it ended up being something so easily fixed.

One shot of Milk of Magnesia later and I was able to sleep for the rest of the day. Needless to say, I'm fine now. Sorry for the details but it is my blog so suck it up.

Since I don't want to leave you with something icky, I do have really good news. With the cooler weather, I had to get some new pants. Obviously I won't be wearing them long but I needed something to get through the next month or so. I am happy to announce that I was able to comfortably fit in a smaller size of pants at the store! I've only dropped one pant size but after being in one size for so long, this is amazing. I bought 2 pairs of pants and I look hot in them. My mom has pants of mine in the next size down so I won't be back at the store probably until spring where I'll need to buy even smaller clothes. I'm so excited!!

Until next time, Have a good weekend!