It's been awhile since I've written and I've just had this desire to write about what's been going on since December. So, here it goes.
Weightloss:As of today, I've lost 113.2 pounds. It's been hard and crappy but I couldn't be prouder of myself. I've done from extremely obese to obese II according to the BMI chart. That stupid little chart will always tell me I'm overweight by the time I hit my goal but nothing feels better then being able to fit into whatever car/ride/tight space I want to. It also feel great to be the same weight I was in High School and KNOW that I'll weight less than even that soon. Watch out 10 year reunion! (In 2 years)
As for diet, I haven't been following the protocol like I'm supposed to and I think that's my biggest challenge. I'm making a re-dedication to following what I'm supposed to. I haven't had a problem with a lot of starches though which is why it's hard. Thick bread, french fries, mashed potatoes, and flour tortillas have given me problems so I stay away from those. But I need to cut back on making pasta just because I don't want to grill chicken for dinner even if I only make 2oz. of pasta. If I do end up still eating the things that haven't bothered me, I'm making a point of buying whole grain so it at least has a better nutritional value.
For my exercising, I fell out of it again. For some reason, my depression gets worse when I start to exercise on a regular basis. I need to call and make an appointment with my doctor to see if we need to adjust something.
Personal Life:I know this is the section everyone is excited about.
It's been 4.5 months since Ryan and I broke up. Honestly, I'm still grieving this relationship. And why shouldn't I? It was a 6 year relationship! I don't know when I'll stop grieving but there shouldn't be a set point in time where I have to go "okay, I'm over it". Right now, I'm trying to do as much as possible to take care of myself not only physically but emotionally as well. That's really all I have to say about it.
Since the end of the year, I have been getting out more. I've been going to Disneyland as much as possible and hanging out with friends. It's been nice to actually live what I have left of my 20s. I've been going out on dates as well. I'm not looking for anything. I'm not emotionally ready to pour myself into another relationship; but who am I to say no to a free meal?
I've also been going back to church. I found a church that I love and I always feel better after I've gone. I feel better when my relationship with God is stronger and I feel that I can do more and that I don't have to worry as much when I just give everything to Him. It's really been a breath of fresh air after so long.
I'm also almost done with school! Over the next 12 weeks though I'll be working on my big paper so if I'm not around, that's why. I was able to walk with the rest of my cohort on April 18th. The best thing about that day was that my dad showed up. We all though that we wasn't going to be able to make but as I walked down those steps to where we had to sit, there he was waving at me. It was the greatest thing to have possibly happened.
So, I'm still here. I'm making positive changes and I'm looking forward to what's in store for me over the next few months. It's going to be one heck of a ride.